Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Psychosomatic illness and stress...shloshim and other fun topics..

For those of you who have been following this blog, I had mentioned there was a in my family recently. I guess I may as well tell you a little bit more so you can appreciate the situation better. Perhaps this will be a theraputic session for myself. My mother was hit by a car and was suddenly taken away from me and my family. Words can not describe the way I feel since sometimes I feel nothing. Perhaps my brain will not allow me to comprehend the full aspect of this horrible tradegy. A defense mechanism if you will. I have dealt with tremendous stress in my life before getting married. There were some really close calls before I actually met my wife and I think an award would be in order. There is a concept in Torah that Hashem does not give you a test you can't withstand. I believe all these tradegies were there on some level to help me cope with this one. I have recently come down with a bad case of fever hitting about 102.5. Being that I rarely get sick ( bli ayin horah), I belive it to be brought on by my brain more so than an actuall illness. the other possibility is the stress caused a breakdown in my immune system. I knew my mother was an exemplary woman but until all these letters started streaming in not to mention that approx. 1200 people who attended the shiva I had no idea to what extent. Davening for the amud with a fever is a tough task. My mother is named after her grandmother and thier yartzhiets will end up just a day apart. I can't help thinking that thier neshomos are linked in some special way. I won't ask question's of Hashem only that he give us the emunah and consolation so I can move on. I miss my mother more than words can describe and I think it has yet to really sink in. My sickness is just a beginning to prove this.

11 comments:

orthomom said...

I am so, so sorry for your great loss.

exsemgirl said...

I am so so so sorry.

It is understood even in the modern medical world that emotional pain often translates to physical illness.

Refua shleima bekorov.

Jewish Blogmeister said...

Thanks

treppenwitz said...

Hamokom Y'nachem etchem b'toch sha'ar avlei tzion v'yeushalayim.

Jewish Blogmeister said...

amen

e-kvetcher said...

Please accept my condolences.

Liorah-Lleucu said...

refuah shleimah, and may you be comforted in your loss

yitz said...

Yes, HaMakom yinachem es'chem. Hold on to those special memories you have of your mother, for although they'll bring a tear to your eye, they'll also be a source of comfort for you, as you go through life without her. Are you familiar with the Carlebach vort on b'dima, b'rina?

Jewish Blogmeister said...

To all: thanks for your words of comfort.
yitz: Can't say I am...

mother in israel said...

I am so sorry to read this. I also lost my mother suddenly and it is still difficult to come to terms with after 15 years (she didn't wake up one morning at age 65). What they say is true--the pain does lessen with time. Hoping you can find comfort and faith.

PsychoToddler said...

Sorry to catch you so late.