I heard this great D'var torah from Rabbi Gotlieb of Congregation
Bais Torah (Rabbi Wein's old shul). The 4 sons correspond to that of a different 4 sons namely Izzac (The Wise son), Yishmael (the wicked son), Yaakov (the simple son) and Essauv (the one who can't ask). There are very good examples of how they relate for example in the Torah Yaakov is called ish tam (simple man) yishamel is wicked since the medrash says at a young age he commited the 3 greatest sins: adultery, idolatry, and murder. Essauv is the person who could not ask a striaght question (changing around the one who can't to the one won't ask). He used to ask about how to take tithe on salt and straw knowing full well that you don't. This in attempt to fool Izzac into thinking he was scholarly. Ultimatley it is his own mother Rivkah figured him out. Hence the reason for the word "at" a word used only for a female. There is more here but I can only give away so much in one sitting
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